Looking to the Past for the Future
For weeks now I have been looking for a new spin on old resolutions. I have been searching for a way to start 2018 fresh and different with motivation and inspiration, as 2017 left me feeling quite blue.
The past year was full of coming to terms with infertility, illness, and deaths. It was a year which left me asking myself, “What does this all mean? What now?”
I was looking for a strategy-focused resolution to help me feel like myself again, but I kept coming up with gadgets for working out and diet plans for weight loss (even though those are needed as well). Heavy sigh.
While reading Facebook the other day, a childhood friend and classmate posted a link to his blog and music. I clicked on it. It blew me away, not only for his beautiful writing and crazy-talented music, but the sentiment of his writing—retracing his last several years in hope to find his way back–to creating art–and his way forward–to his future.
He and his husband had moved to care for his mother suffering from dementia and along with many other life changes, he too was at a place of staring in the mirror asking, “How did I get here?”
Through his writing and songwriting, he is journeying back through his “forks in the road…and the doorways which led to this current version of life,” in order to rediscover his passions and sort through the parts of life that just happen when you are busy doing other things.
So many emotions had flood over me as I kept reading his blog, yakudoshi—complete sadness of having an ill parent, exhilaration in realizing creating (which is a huge part of my being) has been missing from my life as well, and comfort in the camaraderie of knowing others are feeling a bit lost, too.
I had been in the process of updating this blog for professional reasons, however, now I feel incredibly energized to use DREAMPORT to time hop through my own past several years to reconnect, discover and analyze my own pathways which led to this current version of life—all while creating again.
I know don’t know what the future holds, but I feel a little better about unearthing new possibilities.
Thank you, Jose.
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Check out SPOUSE, Jose’s band:
and his music from an alternate reality, A Severe Joy: