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IMAGINATION, Tips + Advice

When life gives you lemons, grab tequila.

When life gives you lemons, grab tequila.As Labor Day approaches, the looming clouds of family cookouts lay overhead.

Ah, yes. A time when every single girl is reminded just how single one’s life may be.

No. Really people, relatives no less, will leap out of lawn chairs to ask if you have “found anyone” yet.

***

Me:  “No, but I cured cancer.”

Auntie Insane:   “That’s nice, dear. You know, my coworker’s son is about your age. He still lives at home, but that just means he’s saving money.”

Even the cure for cancer couldn’t save me from this annual scene – and, yeah, he’s “saving money.” Let me guess, his “apartment” is located in the basement?

And, you thought of me for this loser. Gee. Thanks.

***

Ah, yes. I have heard it all for the “finding someone” advice:

• “Some Saturday, go and hang out in Home Depot for an hour or two. I bet you would find someone there.”When life gives you lemons...
• “What about that guy Chris?” (PLEASE NOTE_I dated Chris in high school, SIXTEEN YEARS AGO.)
• “So what if he is thirty-three and living at home. He’s saving money.”
• “I REALLLLLY wish I knew someone single.” (PLEASE NOTE_ I am single, not terminal. Don’t call in Make-a-Wish yet.)
• “He’s a Greek god. You’ll love him. He’s perfect for you.” (PLEASE NOTE_ Greek gods do not have uni-brows.)
• “You should go on a single’s cruise. That’s how my friends met. You know, they had some ice breaker…he got ‘Frank’ and she got ‘beans.’ The rest is history.”

Enjoy your Labor Day weekend. And, don’t forget to pack the tequila.

 

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